WHAT IS A GREAT MAN!!!!

What makes up a great man? I think I have finally solved this mysterious puzzle! A great man cares and lives his life with passion! Cares enough about everything in his life to be willing to put everything that he has on the line for it. To be able to put it all out there day in and day out with the knowledge that he still may lose the battle. But the great man will never lose the lesson. Anybody alive can think they are capable of this way of life until they encounter defeat and feel the pain that is only there when all your chips were wagered. It is after you have done this and felt that pain you will see what you are made of. And if a great man may be inside of you. Because a great man understands that only with great risk can you achieve great rewards. A great man lives his life for today, while the smart man plans for tomorrow. And make no mistake with what I am saying there. You can be both! It is just that the great man understands that tomorrow is never guaranteed to arrive. To live it up! And whatever your passion may be to chase it with all that you have on a daily basis. So when tomorrow eventually does not arrive for you, you have no regrets with the way you have lived your life. The great man understands that waiting for great things to happen to you is a tragedy, but chasing after the great moments is heroic. A great man knows that what you do for a living for a living isn't who you are. It is merely a way to take care of and fund whatever it is you care for. A great man understands to judge his success by what he had to give up in order to get it. And being successful doesn't make you great anyways. Somewhere out there, there is a man without a penny to his name because he did something amazing for the world or just another person. The world wouldn't view that as a successful man, but I would view it as great. He followed his beliefs down his own path. And with that knowledge sleeping in a cardboard box would be worth it all. A great man has unwavering values. Is incorruptable! He should have loyalty because it will define his charecter. He knows that family is a blessing and that to waste time with them should be a sin. Knows you don't have to share a bloodline to be a family member. A great man lives his life sharing the truth to all those who matter to him. That truth allows for a guilt free life with no regrets regardless of the outcome that the truth can sometimes bring. A great man is capable of truely loving another soul.Because to care for another more than yourself is the ultimate sacrifice. And what an amzing feeling it is to have it returned to you. A great man has compassion.Because he knows that we are all in this together and that people need help from time to time. A great man shows others respect and has integrity. A great man will make mistakes, but knows to right the wrongs that he is capable of. A great man can forgive, but knows that to forget will only stunt his growth. A great man knows that the number of relationships he forges pales in comparison to the quality of them. A great man leads his life with passion regardless of the outcome. People say the difference between good and great is just a little more effort. That is b*llsh*t! It is a whole lot more effort. And who would even want to settle for good when we are all capable of great in the first place. I do know this as well. I may not be a great man yet, but I will be someday! Because i have finally figured it out. It isn't who you are underneath that really matters. Because a great soul with great intentions can go unused. IT IS YOUR ACTIONS THAT DEFINE YOU!!!!

Tim Putko
September 27, 2006

THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

ETERNAL INSPIRATION

The Best Day of “His” Life, June 23, 2004: It is 7:00 a.m., Rikki is in bed and her blinds are open; the sun wakes Rikki up. It is the most gorgeous day she has ever seen; not a cloud in the sky, the sun is shining, and the sky is such a beautiful shade of blue. Rikki immediately calls Jensen; his phone goes to his voicemail, so Rikki leaves Jensen a message to call her back as soon as he gets her message. Rikki repeatedly calls Jensen trying to wake him up because she can hardly wait to see him, and she doesn’t want him to miss how beautiful the morning is. Finally, at about 8:30 am Rikki’s cell phone rings and it is Jensen; in a very low tired sounding voice Jensen says “I’m up Rikki and I am going to get the beer, I’ll call you as soon as I get back, I Love you.” Rikki says “I love you too,” then she hangs up. Rikki gets up and prepares to pack all her stuff to get ready to go to Jensen’s; things to shower with, things to take to the pool, things to sleep over with, and her “Perfect Outfit”. Jensen called back around 9:45 a.m., and in a very excited voice he says “I got 150 to 200 beers; get your ass over here right now!” Rikki says “I’m ready. Can we shower at your house?” Jensen says “I figured you would want to shower here; I washed and dried about 15 towels for all of us, as they hang up they both exchange “I love you”. Rikki thinks to herself; how sweet, she tells Shayna and they both agree how thoughtful Jensen is. Right before Rikki and Shayna turn into Jensen’s apartment complex Rikki spots Jensen behind them in the passenger side mirror. Rikki tells Shayna and they both see Jensen on his Suzuki 500 motor cycle, it is the first time Rikki sees Jensen on his motorcycle on the road; he is wearing a pair oF really cool sunglasses (a stranger at the gas station had given Jensen the sunglasses, the stranger thought Jensen’s bike was so cool he wanted Jensen to have the coolest sunglasses to complete the look). Rikki thinks to herself, Jensen looks natural, calm, and very pleased to be wearing his “Kick Ass” sunglasses. Once Jensen realizes Rikki and Shayna are looking at him, he smiles from ear to ear, waving, and begins typically acting a dork. Jensen goes from looking cool to his usual entertaining self. When Rikki and Shayna get to Jensen’s apartment they go up to Jensen’s room to drop off their bags and get ready to go to the pool, Jensen walks in and tells them to come down and say hello before he leaves to pick up one of his friends for the party. There are about 30 or so people attending the party and going to the concert together. People had started arriving by the time Rikki and Shayna get to the pool; it is now about 11:30 A.M. The minute Rikki gets to the pool Jensen throws her in with her clothes on. He had already thrown in a few of the arriving guests, girls of course. The day is perfect, everyone has the greatest time. They hang out, drink beer, barbeque, and are amused by everyone’s antics. For a laugh Jensen grabs a little kid bike he got at the thrift store and with a running start rides it right into the pool, in spite of the fact that he hits his head on the bottom, it’s unexpected and hysterical. When Jensen surfaces he looks at Rikki as he often does when he wants her to do something for him (it always works) and says in THAT VOICE “I need ice, feel my head. Since you aren’t in the pool could you get it for me (Rikki had just sat down) she said “Jet” Jensen said “But, I love you” so Rikki gets up grabs a cold beer and hands it to Jensen; he promptly puts it on his head. He smiles appreciatively. On one of Jensen’s trips to the bathroom, he brings back a laminated picture of Rikki from the school newspaper printed when Rikki was in kindergarten. He shows it to everyone just to get a laugh; Rikki was embarrassed, but at the same time realizes that even though Jensen is poking fun at her, it is apparent to her that he adores her and is very proud of her. At about 4:00 P.M the girls all go to Jet’s to shower. Rikki tells Jensen that she will come and get them when the girls are done so that the boys can shower and get ready. They all caravanned to the concert.The Concert:Jensen and Rikki make a pact that they will not go passed the entrance without each other. Every two minutes they are calling to check on each other. After Rikki finally gets inside she spots Jensen; He is just standing there waiting for her. He’s wearing baggy jeans, his dodger dog shirt, his hair looking soft, long, and a tad messy; he has a huge smile on his face, and is holding a beer in each hand; one for him, and one for her. Rikki walks up to Jensen smiling, she hugs and kisses him and says “I LOVE YOU!” He says it back. Rikki hands Jensen $50.00 and he says “What is this for?” Rikki says “The beer”. Earlier when Rikki asked Jensen how much he spent on the beer, he said “$60.00.” Jensen smiles and whispers “Rikki, I spent $175.00.” Rikki says “Why didn’t you tell me?” With his hand holding hers Jensen says “I just wanted you and our friends to have fun, and not worry about money today; it’s not important; I don’t care.” Holding hands Rikki and Jensen run to their seats smiling and laughing like liitle kids, and they were the only ones there, as they realize OAR has just started playing. They find the perfect spot, right down in front and set up camp as the other 28 or so people join them. They all enjoy the concert so much; their energy levels are at very high level. Jensen looks at Rikki as OAR is about to play their last song and says “My day will be even better if they play “Crazy Game of Poker” and they play it. The After Party:The girls arrive at the after party before the boys. They all continue their night dancing, laughing, and having a great time. Rikki is standing at the bar with a guy on each side of her kissing her cheeks as Jensen walks up and pushes his way right in the middle of them and puts his arms around Rikki and says “HEY, that’s MY sister, get off her or I’ll hurt you.” They all just looked at each other and laugh. At about 3:00 A.M. Shayna and her boyfriend Jeff are ready to go, and they want Rikki to drive Jeff’s car, they tell her and start walking out. Rikki looks at Shayna and says “Hey, I need to go back inside say good night to Jensen. Rikki walks back inside to find Jensen, when she gets up to him to say goodbye; Jensen says to Rikki “Do you still have the extra ticket for the concert tomorrow? Because I want to go with you; I had the BEST DAY EVER, and I am coming with you guys tomorrow night.” Rikki says “Of course you are!” Then Jensen hugs her and says “Rikki, You are the Love of My Life.” Rikki says “You are the love of MY life, I love you too; I will call you when I get up.” They hug and kiss and then just stand there and look at each other for a few more seconds, and then they squeeze each other again. As Rikki leaves, Jensen watches her adoringly as she walks away, Rikki is elated and feeling as though she has had The Greatest Day of her Life, especially experiencing it with Jensen. As she walking, she is thinking tomorrow will be as good as today, if not better. Jensen and the boys decide to go home taking a number of their friends with them. Jensen had driven and did not want some of the girls to drive home as they had been drinking; he wanted them to be safe. About 5 or so of the girls slept in Jensen’s room with him that night. As they are drifting off to sleep (about 6:00 A.M).
By "The Rockstar"

THE SPIRIT REMAINS

A little girl; so afraid of death. Dreaming about "The Boogie Man" taking me away, "Monsters" eating me; I somehow managed to fly away from that black hole of darknes, waking up in a panic. My Nana comforting me reasuring me that the "Tree" is a sign; LIFE RETURNS. Trees lose their leaves during the winter, and come to Life in the spring. Some say; Trees have a spirit, Animals have a spirit, Plants have a spirit, every Living-Breathing thing has a spirit. Somewhere along the way, I realized how grande Life can be. If I focus on what is missing, I'll miss out on the Moment. The Moment in time that will never come again. Don't take the moment for granted. Regret: I wish I had...

Opportunity comes along with every moment. We grow up wanting; to be accepted, respected, loved, needed, desired, happy, and successful. Things tempt our false sense of happiness. Things give others a perception towards measuring of our success; where we live, what we drive, how we dress, how much we have in our bank accounts, our professional acomplishments.

When I was 16 I was riding in the car with my so called best friend. We were stopped behind a school bus; "The Handicapped Kids" My so called best friend (always enterntaining) began acting out and mocking them. Overwhelmed, disgusted, and enraged, I told her to stop the car.
I told her that she was disrespecting the opportunity she had been given. I told her that they did not ask to be born like that, and that anything could happen to anyone at Moment in time. That she could be in a car accident and become like them. " How would you feel?" I told her that I never wanted to speak to her again, and I walked home.

Was G_D watching? They say Mothers are chosen for the handicapped. Irma Bombeck wrote a poem about that.

In 1984 Drew was born. A Gift that would humble my false sense of success. I remember the Doctor coming in to talk with me and my husband; his shoulders were slumped and his head hanging down as he began to speak. Drew was born with Down Syndrome. He asked me how I felt. I told him that I believe; Drew was a gift from G_D, and that I will love him as much as Rikki and Jensen, and treat him equally.

Drew was born with a hole in the middle of his heart. At 3 months of age he had a heart catheryzation. The doctors gave him less than a 50% chance to survive. I had no doubt that he would survive. How is that possible? I ran into my sister-in- law weeks before Drew's surgery.
She told me something that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. She had been to a psychic and the woman (well respected) told her that one of her sister-in laws was pregnant and going to have a baby with Down Syndrome, months before Drew was born. There were 3 of us pregant at the time. The psychic told her that he would be born with a heart conditon and that he would live a beautiful life, although it would be cut short. That he would have 3 surgeries and not survive the 3rd. We spent almost an entire summer in the childrens hospital. Every day I witnessed tragedies, I watched families fall apart and kids die. Death isn't a social class, Death has no predjudice, Death is not a curse. Death is the part of life that reminds us to pay attention to "The Moment".

Drew passed away October 17, 1996: complications from a Staph Infection. Although the Gifts he gave are immeasurable. His Spirit Remains...

"THE PROMISE"

I made a promise to Jensen a long time ago, after Drew passed away...I told him that the signs he was receiving were more simply wanting to see them, that they were more than coincidence. That it was Drew's way of letting him know that he was OK and that he was still with him. I told Jensen that I know he will be sad when I die, But I promised him that the bond we have is so strong, that I would find a way to give him signs, signs undeniable; so many signs seen by so many people at the same time, that he would never doubt; That this is not the end. That he will know our connection is eternal and that he will see me and Drew again when it's his time.

When Jensen passed away so many unexplainable undeniable things happened and so many people witnessed them at the same time; What we FEEL IS ETERNAL. I think that our passing leads us to a different frequency and that we understand the power to communicate through dreams. I think that sometimes when we think we are thinking about them, they are actually communicating with us. I believe if we are tapped into our spiritual frequency that we have the ability to recognize that in this realm as well...

The Promise: Mom-1998

"THE FUNERAL"

First you need to meet him. This is Jensen, last Thanksgiving, with Maddi on his shoulders.

I've stared at this blank page for a long time and I'm not sure where I need to start with this.
It may be out of order. I had begun to write from the beginning, that day, when suddenly in seconds that took hours to unfold, the world became a different place for those who knew and loved Jensen Morgan Gelbaum. Then my computer froze. I had to restart it, lost what I had written so far, and now, I'm starting with the funeral instead of "that day".


I've already told you a lot about him, and although I knew how much he was loved by family and friends, I really couldn't conceive the numbers. He had all the best traits one could ask for in a young man. He was a best son, brother, friend, cousin, nephew, grandson anyone could ask for. Respectful, hard-working, intelligent, handsome, funny, silly in fact, spiritual, organized, helpful, trustworthy, trusting, generous, thoughtful, kind...the list goes on and on. Most of all, he loved life, and believed in living it to the fullest. He loved making those around him happy. Telling funny stories about himself and his experiences with others to get everyone laughing was his favorite pastime. Taking his buddies up on dares, silly things like dressing up in a pair of Speedos and a boy scout shirt, and going inside Burger King to order. Nobody could be in a bad mood around him. His life was cut short at 23.

The Rabbi had no trouble at all, giving a beautiful service in his honor. But the eulogy spoken by his 26 year old sister, Rikki, will be remembered by all of the estimated 900+ people attending his funeral. She began by saying, "I'll be happier when" (does that sound familiar?)..and she listed the various stages of life, marriage, better jobs, degrees, babies, children growing up, better cars, bigger homes, etc. All the things people aspire to that they think will make them happy. Throwing in his various nicknames, throughout the commentary, Tree, Jet, Jetter, etc. Then she talked about how HE lived HIS life. Basically how happiness is within the journey, not the future goals & destinations. At the end, she said "I know you are all here, because you loved Jensen, and he loved each and every one of you too....but he loved ME more!" In that brief moment, her declaration of the love that they shared, made mine and probably every other heart there. soar, despite the grief we were all feeling.

The funeral was held outside, graveside and it was a beautiful, sunny day. There wasn't a funeral home large enough to handle the number of people coming. A large family, immediate, and extended, his father's friends and entire family from NY, a busload of 60 co-workers from the restaurant/bistro in Columbus, where both he and Rikki worked, classmates who flew in from all over the country, Shelly's friends from the Rick Springfield fan club, driving from as far away as Minnesota, her co-workers and other associates from the county courthouse, my family and our mutual friends, teachers, coaches, kids much younger AND older who knew him and knew him well through his cousins, parents of those kids, etc, etc. Some believe there were more than 900 attending, and I know of many who could not find the cemetary and missed the funeral, not by choice.

At the end of the service, the Rabbi announced, however the microphone wasn't on, that the immediate family should go to the Shelly's for the traditional dairy meal and prayers, while the rest of those attending were invited to my house. This would mark the beginning of "sitting shivah" which means sitting for seven days, for friends to stop by and offer their personal condolences. The Jewish religion is rich in customs and traditions, most having 3 or 4 possible meanings behind them, many deriving from superstions, and mysticism from the early teachings of cabala. I'll go into some of them in another letter. We estimate around 300 people here by mid-afternoon. The day has been described as most horrible yet beautiful, solemn jubilation, unconventional but fitting, and just as Jensen would have wanted it. Just about every "rule" in the guideline of sitting shivah were broken. There were two rabbis involved, one reform or conservative, (i'm not sure), and the other, orthodox. The latter stopped by in the afternoon, to perform a minyon, (ten men) prayer, right in my backyard. Shelly told him that she hoped he wasn't offended by anything, and he said he wasn't but............ it looked like a big party, and that party had been going on for days.

The funeral itself, was mostly like any other, which surprised those who had never been to a Jewish funeral. They are not so different, and that shouldn't surprise anyone since Judaism IS the Old Testament. The 23rd psalm was recited...an Irish proverb, that Rikki chose was recited, 2 religious leaders and a couple family members spoke, including Shelly. There are not usually any calling hours, the sitting shivah taking the place of that. All are buried in a plain pine box, and dressed in a simple shroud, so that all are equal when returned to God. One especially nice thing they did at this one, was for the crowd to separate, making a path in the middle, creating well wishers on either side of the family as we walked out of the cemetary. It was to give us comfort, although I found little of it...but it was a nice idea. The Kaddish is recited, and is continually recited by family for the next 30 days. Solemnly spoke, in Hebrew, it's known as the prayer for the dead, but translated, is almost identical to what you know as The Lord's Prayer. No reference to death in it at all.
All are invited to participate in shoveling the dirt onto the coffin, first a small amount from the backside of the shovel, then a full shovel. My children and I did not take part. However, one of his cousins and two friends, both non-jews, stayed to put all the dirt that remained, down to the last tiny speck.

Written by
Wendy Goldberg (Jensen's Aunt)
June 27, 2004